Making Amends

The nature of being human includes making mistakes, missteps, or misstatements.  I can attest to being quite human then . . . especially lately.  Anyway, it’s important for us to make amends when we do something that has made someone else:

• Work hard to fix your mistake or clean up your mess
• Feel bad because you said something offensive or hurtful (even if unintentionally so)
• Question your integrity or intentions.

It’s important to make amends because it’s in the best interest of healthy and productive relationships to do so.  Whether in your professional or personal life, making amends and owning your mistakes is an act of commitment to relationship.  It says to others that you know your humanness has “gotten in the way” and you’re sorry.  It also says that you are aware of your shortcomings and are willing to look at them and work to overcome them.  Making amends is a powerful action that also builds trust among colleagues, partners and friends.  Mistakes are easier to forgive when there is an attempt to make amends.

Speaking of forgiveness . . . well, there’s another powerful act of commitment to relationship.  When someone with whom you work or are friends with makes a mistake, and he or she attempts to make amends, choose to forgive.  It takes courage to acknowledge one’s own mistakes.  Give the gift of forgiveness in return.  It’s a gift that will release both of you from feelings of resentment or mistrust.  And, it will hasten the return to productivity, grace and ease in the relationship.  Finally, it might make things that much easier for others to forgive you when the time comes that you slip up.  Because, that time will come, you human being.

Making amends includes:

• Being aware that your action(s) have caused hurt or inconvenience for others.
• Owning up to your shortcomings.
• Apologizing to those who have been affected.
• Forgiving yourself and moving on.

Accepting amends from others includes:

• Acknowledging and receiving their apology without judgment.
• Forgiving them and moving on.
• Hoping they’ll do the same for you when you next slip up.

Warmly,

Lynae

Honoring Diversity: A Lesson from the Elephant

I attended a meeting the other day where the organizational leader told the famous Indian legend of the six blind men and the elephant.  It goes like this.

Six blind men went to see an elephant to learn about what it was like.  The first man felt the broad side of the elephant and said it was like a wall.  The second man felt the tusk and said it was like a spear.  The third man felt the elephant’s tail and said it was like a rope.  The forth man felt the trunk and said an elephant is like a snake.  The fifth man felt the knee and said it was like a tree.  The sixth man felt the elephant’s ear and said it was like a fan.

The moral of story is that everyone was right – each man had an accurate perspective from his vantage point.

The leader that told the story used it to initiate a discussion about the importance of seeing the big picture in project planning, decision making and problem solving.  Every department in an organization, like each individual, has an important perspective to share that leads to goal accomplishment and organizational success.  It is only when we honor the collective and sometimes diverse perspectives that we can see clearly the best solution or plan.

Sometimes we forget to honor and celebrate our diversity.  Most of us are more comfortable working with people who are similar to us.  Our similarities make it easier for us to trust each other’s judgment because we understand it. At the same time, we could be prone to judge different ideas negatively and miss out on the benefits and contributions of honoring diverse perspectives.

In our flagship program, respectFULL teams™, we explore our individual and unique perspectives and how they came to be a part of us and how we view the world. We lead discussions around how to take full advantage of the rich backgrounds and abilities of everyone on the team and how to value differences, seek inclusiveness, and honor differing points of view.

Here are a few of the tips we offer for honoring diversity.

1.    Ask questions and develop a curiosity to seek out diverse ideas and opinions.  The more you learn about others’ perspectives, the broader your own perspective becomes.

2.   Share your perspective. The best way to find commonalities is to share your ideas with others and get their feedback. You may be surprised to find that you have more in common that you think.

3.   Honor the values and beliefs of others.  Everyone has a set of values and beliefs that guide the way they live and interact with others. Showing respect for others is the single most important thing we can do to build harmony amidst differences.

Uniquely yours, Georgine

A New Chapter for Do Respect™

We are really excited to share that our 3-minute video, Do Respect™, is about to be released by our new business partner and video distributor, Star Thrower.  Star Thrower offers the best training and development video and multimedia tools available.

This collaboration and release has been in the works for a few months now.  Sometime over the next week or so, we’ll be announcing the release and we hope you’ll help us share this great news by forwarding our release announcement to anyone you think is interested.  Better yet, we hope you’ll consider buying it for your own use!

As many of you know, Do Respect™ is a 3-minute inspirational video to engage employees to act in ways that enhance workplace culture.  We’ve already sold several copies of the video to companies, school districts and government agencies that are using it in a variety of ways.  Just today, I received an email inquiry from the judicial officer at a community college in Iowa.  Part of what she does for the college is teach conflict resolution skills to students.  She believes, as we do, that respect is very much a part of conflict resolution both in college and in life.  Her plan is to use the video when she’s counseling students to ensure that their attitudes don’t stunt their potential.  She is convinced that respect is the first step in reaching potential.  Wow!  That inspires us.

We look forward to sharing more stories like this one about how our video makes a difference in people’s attitudes, beliefs and actions.  And, we’d appreciate you looking out for our announcement about the release and helping us get the Do Respect message out far and wide!

With respect,

Lynae

Reputation

I read today on Forbes.com about America’s 10 most reputable and least reputable companies.  The list comes from the results of a survey by a research firm called the Reputation Institute.  They asked more than 30,000 consumers to share their perceptions about 150 companies based on four emotional indicators:  trust, esteem, admiration and good feeling.

This research was astounding to me because the results are derived from emotional indicators . . . not indicators of profitability, efficiency, effectiveness or value.  Emotional indicators.  I like knowing that someone is paying attention to how consumers feel about a company instead of just looking at someone’s buying habits.

So, when people do business with you or the company you work for, how do you think they feel?  At Madd-Steiny, we want our reputation to be one that’s based on our clients feeling valued, appreciated, and respected.  We built our company around six core values and we strive to ensure our actions and reputation are in alignment with them:

• Collaboration – we endeavor to leverage the wisdom and skills of our clients.
• Diversity – we honor varied opinions, perspectives and ideas.
• Integrity – we walk our talk.
• Communication – everything is out on the table and open for discussion.
• Accountability – we own our success and our mistakes.
• Fun – our work is serious business, but we make it fun!

With respect,

Lynae

Respect Yourself

A few days ago, my husband and I were driving up to our lake house and listening to a soul music station on XM radio.  The wonderful “Respect Yourself” by The Staples Singers came on and got me going!  This 1990 tune has great rhythm and a wonderful message.  As we look forward to a new year, this is a great resolution for each of us.  Respecting ourselves is the first and most important step toward showing respect toward others – always an important theme for Madd-Steiny Productions.

So, what can we do in the coming new year, and every day beyond, to respect ourselves?  Here are some things I resolve to do for myself:

·    Be gentle with yourself.  Forgive mistakes easily and quiet any harsh voices in your head.
·    Smile when you look in the mirror.
·    Get started on that hobby, exercise regimen, or book you’ve been meaning to begin.
·    Finish what you start.  Your good intentions are worth seeing through to the end.
·    Honor your beliefs by walking your talk consistently (even when no one is watching!)
·    Do more of what makes you feel good and less of what doesn’t.

What will you do to respect yourself more in the new year?

Lynae

Practice Respect by Demonstrating an Open Mind

I’ve been thinking lately about the power of having an open mind.  Probably because the holiday season brings increased social gatherings with friends and families in which we get to engage in good old fashioned dialogue. I had a conversation with my spouse the other day on the way home from one of these gatherings about “open-mindedness”.

The text book definition of “open minded” includes words like; curiosity, impartially, non-prejudice and broad-minded.  My favorite is “receptive”.  When we are receptive, we can actively listen to any thought or idea even if we disagree.

Aristotle once said, “It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it”. I think that what he is saying is that everyone has their own “truth” and it may not be what is true for you at the moment.

An individual’s belief system is based on things like life experiences, upbringing, generational influences and ethnicity.  Everyone has an interesting and unique story that has shaped their beliefs.  I have found that if I practice listening to others with a curiosity to understand their perspective, I learn a lot about that person and more often than not, broaden my own perspective and viewpoint.

With the New Year just ahead of us, we often think about resolutions; changes we want to make to expand our businesses, ways we can improve our health or build our skills.  Keeping an open mind will help you in finding new ways of doing things and make change more exciting.

Here are a few tips that will help you keep an open mind.
1.    Let go of the need to be “right”. Allow everyone to be “right” and see how it transforms a conversation.
2.    Listen actively and practice clarifying what you heard and understood the other person to say.
3.    Exercise your curiosity by asking questions to better understand someone’s perspective.  Chances are you’ll learn a lot!

Respectfully,

Georgine

The Power of Words

I attended a conference recently and had the pleasure of hearing Dr. Doreen Virtue speak. She spoke of the energetic power of the words. Because words are essentially sound waves they do have mass and do have an effect on us.

The most important lesson I took away is that our positive words are so much more powerful to influence our relationships, customer service, team environment, and work culture.

In a service situation the language that we use can have a strong effect on how the customer perceives our service. And, the words we use with our co-workers can have a strong effect on how our team operates together.

Numerous studies have shown how the words we speak to ourselves have an impact on the way we feel and act. Words are a powerful force and the powerful effects of negative words cannot be underestimated. Because we are constantly giving messages to ourselves and others, it is more vital than ever to ensure that those words you hear in your mind and speak to others are as positive as possible.

I invite you to put it to the test for just one week. Try to be consciously aware of the way you speak and see where you could choose words that are more positive. I believe that you will be pleased by the results.

Here is a list of 10 positive words and phrases that you may want to try.

1.    Yes
2.    I understand
3.    What I can do is …
4.    How can I help?
5.    I’m sorry for …
6.    I would suggest/recommend …
7.    What I like about what you said is …
8.    That’s interesting
9.    Tell me more
10.  What a great opportunity

Yours truly, Georgine

Respecting the Whole Person

When you see yourself in your mind’s eye, you probably see more than your outward appearance.  I know I do.  I see me as a whole person and think about myself in terms of my thoughts, my heart, and my spirit.  I seek what gives me joy and makes me think critically and challenges beliefs that don’t necessarily serve me.  And, I love it when others notice more of me than just what is on the outside.  My guess is that you do too.  And, that got me thinking about what I can do more of to notice the “wholeness” of the people around me.  Here are some things I’m committed to do more of.  How about you?

·    Listen for the meaning behind what someone says through their tone of voice and choice of words.
·    Probe for deeper understanding to ensure I hear what’s important to someone else.
·    Pay attention to what makes someone “light up” when they talk.  This can be a sure sign of a passion.
·    Notice someone’s interests and choice of leisure activities to gain insight to what they appreciate.

It’s not important that other people notice that I’m doing these things.  What’s important is how my interactions with them are influenced as a result of me paying closer attention to their wholeness.  At the very least, I can be as gentle and accepting with them as I’d appreciate others to be with me.  Because, we’re all more than just the roles we play.  We are whole beings and are wholly deserving of respect.

Warmly,

Lynae

Key Words of Respect

Lynae and I have been working with individuals, teams and organizations for a long time and one of the very practical tools that we offer in our work with teams is to think about “key words” that individuals can use during “key times” to articulate intention and influence outcomes in any given situation.

I was recently with a group in Florida that found this concept and the practical application of it to be very valuable.  It was fun to see the shift of energy in people as they realized the power of influence that they have in challenging customer service situations simply by the way they responded.

I love seeing the confidence that is created when individuals recognize their own personal power of influence in any given situation when the answer and action is really quite simple – speak from a place of respect and intention about what matters most.

As humans, we naturally react from our ego.  So, when a customer expresses a frustration, dissatisfaction or negative emotion it would be natural to “react” in a defensive way and feel frustration ourselves.

Identifying “key words” gives us the power to “respond” in challenging situations vs. react.  Using “key words” keeps us centered on what matters most and opens doors to service, collaboration, and connection.

Here is an exercise that you can apply individually or with your team to identify “key words” during the typical or tough situation that you find yourself responsible to respond to.

1.    Identify:  Write examples of the comments, questions or complaints that you typically hear from your customers or that are challenging to respond to.

2.    Interpret:  What could the customer be thinking, feeling, wanting?  What is their perspective?  Now, think about what you want the outcome to be in this situation.  What is your perspective? What matters most to you in terms of the outcome?

3.    Respond:  Identify “key word” that you could use from how you answered the “interpret” questions.  Write down the words that you could say to explain or respond to the customer.  What questions could you ask to gain a better understanding?  How could you best educate the customer?  How can you best articulate your intent?  What key actions and behaviors are important to demonstrate as you say these words to ensure that you meet your desired outcome?

Respectfully yours,
Georgine

Honoring Diversity – What Makes You Unique?

One of the reasons I love what I do is because of the fascinating people I have the opportunity to meet every day.  The highly social aspect of my personality is always curious about others; their “stories” and deepening relationships by just getting to know them.

One of the exercises that Madd-Steiny often facilitates in our learning modules around the topic of honoring diversity has participants answer the simple question: ‘What makes you unique?’

We hear that life experiences in diverse cultures and communities, family systems, education, life events, and work experiences create each of our unique stories.  Invariably, this discussion always creates a curiosity to hear more about the unique and individual stories.

We believe that in order to embrace a culture of respect and inclusion every individual needs to be honored for their uniqueness.  This can be advanced in any organization when individuals and groups take time to create a forum where dialogue and listening can take place.

One of my all time favorite authors, Margaret Wheatley, said it best in her book Turning to One Another: Simple Conversations to Restore Hope to the Future.

“Great healing is available to us when we listen to each other.  No matter what we have experienced in life, if we can tell our story to someone who listens, we find it easier to deal with our circumstances.  Listening is such a simple act.  It requires us to be present (and that takes practice!) and willing to just sit there and listen with the intent to understand.  Why is being heard so healing?  It has something to do with the fact that listening creates a relationship.

We know from science that nothing in the universe exists in isolation.  Everything takes form from relationships.  Our natural state is to be together.  Though we keep moving away from each other, we never lose the need to be in relationship.  Not listening creates fragmentation.  Listening moves us closer to becoming more whole.”

Here are some questions that you might consider asking others to learn about what makes them unique:

·    What is your favorite thing about this time of year?
·    What traditions do you practice in your family that has a legacy?
·    What was an experience in your life that was a “defining moment” for you and shaped who you are today?

Enjoy and honor the stories you’ll hear!

Sincerely, Georgine