Respect and Extraordinary Groups

I attended a networking event where the speaker talked about his research on what makes groups and teams “extraordinary.” The information he shared was practical and helpful. And although he didn’t specifically say that respect matters in building extraordinary teams, he talked about what I consider to be respectful actions, such as accepting differences and listening to the contributions of others. His talk got me thinking about how respect can influence whether or not a group is extraordinary-meaning that the group gets great results, shares a sense of purpose, and is engaged. What would a group be without respect?

How can you instill respect into a group quickly and witness some pretty “extraordinary” results?
Here are some tips:

• Define shared values. Values serve as powerful guideposts to actions and attitudes. Get your team together and select 5 core values that guide everything you do.
• Establish behavior norms. Involve everyone in the group to agree on the standards of behavior that will guide everyone’s interactions. Examples include: come to meetings prepared; turn off cell phones during meetings; and question someone’s ideas, not their values.
• Explore and honor different perspectives. Next time your group is given a project or is expected to meet a specific goal, bring the group together and invite different ideas about how to go about it. Brainstorm freely and encourage the group to think creatively. See if you can come up with an entirely new approach to an ‘old’ situation.

Give it a try, and let us know what happens.

Respectfully,

Lynae

Why do we tend to look at what others are doing, instead of at what we are doing?

I’m a human being.  Yep, I admit it.  And, as one, I am guilty of looking outside of myself for the cause of my problems, my feelings, and my results.  Irritating.  I know I shouldn’t, because I have a giant responsibility (if not the sole responsibility) for everything that happens in my life.  Duh.  So why is it that I sometimes find myself looking around me for causes when the results aren’t what I’d like?  Why does anyone?

When I look outward, it’s because I don’t want to look at the character flaws I know I possess.  It’s easier to notice someone else’s flaws.  It doesn’t sting as much.  But, it is not only disrespectful toward the other . . . it’s disrespectful to myself.  By reducing me and those around me to a set of flaws by which I apply a measuring stick, I am setting myself and them up for failure.

I have a choice every day to look at myself as a miracle (and to see others that way too).  It is miraculous what we can achieve – alone and together, flaws and all.  So, how can I make this my reality?  How can I show myself more respect?

• I resolve to look more closely at my strengths, rather than to dissect my flaws.  (Because when I focus on my flaws, it makes me feel lousy and to make myself feel better, I start to look at the flaws of others.)
• I resolve to pay more attention to what I am doing to influence the results I am getting.  (Because it’s hardly ever someone else’s fault when my results aren’t good.)
• I resolve to lighten up when I foul up.  (Because, I am a human being, and sometimes, doo doo happens.)

What does it feel like to work in a respectful workplace?

I’m blessed to work with a partner who respects me, and who I respect.  As a result, our workplace is filled with grace and ease.  We have fun.  And, even when we don’t agree on something or find ourselves in a challenging circumstance, we’re able to approach the situation with kindness toward one another.  Okay, so from time to time I know I can be a little stubborn about things . . . and still, Georgine doesn’t respond with sharpness or impatience.  She hears me out.  And, I try to do the same for her.  I hope I’m successful most of the time.

So, when thinking about what it feels like to work in respectful workplace, it was easy for me to come up with some descriptors: fun, light-hearted, productive, responsive, creative, effective, inspiring, and safe.

I can’t imagine what it would feel like to work in a disrespectful workplace, and I don’t really want to find out.  All I know is that we have a respectful workplace because we choose it.  And, I have responsibilities in that department.  I can’t expect Georgine to do all the respect work.  Respect is a two-way street. Like our video says:  “Want more respect?  Do more respect.” So here are some of the most important things I have to do:

• Listen.  And, that doesn’t mean just keep my ears open.  It means I have to keep my mind and heart open to discover the meaning behind the words.
• Accept.  I have to take it as it comes.  Not everything gets to be on my terms.
• Collaborate.  I’m in a partnership.  It’s not all about me.
• Celebrate.  It’s important to acknowledge our successes and share what’s right in our world.

When I do these things, and more, I feel the respect we have for each other in my bones.  And, I love that feeling.

Stop and Listen

Listening is an action that everyone I have encountered agrees is respectful. Yet, as most others I imagine, my listening tends to be very egocentric. I find myself listening to others and my mind is affirming the commonalities I have (ways to relate to what they are saying) or observing ways I am different.

Listening to simply understand is a practice that takes self awareness and discipline.

I love this excerpt from Margaret Weatley’s book called Turning to One Another: Simple Conversations to Restore Hope to the Future that I read a number of years ago and it reminds me about the importance of staying focused in the moment; to truly listen to a friend, colleague or family member share their voice and experience.
Great healing is available to us when we listen to each other. No matter what we have experienced in life, if we can tell our story to someone who listens, we find it easier to deal with our circumstances. Listening is such a simple act. It requires us to be present (and that takes practice!) and willing to just sit there and listen with the intent to understand. Why is being heard so healing? It has something to do with the fact that listening creates a relationship.

We know from science that nothing in the universe exists in isolation. Everything takes form from relationships. Our natural state is to be together. Though we keep moving away from each other, we never lose the need to be in relationship. Not listening creates fragmentation. Listening moves us closer to becoming more whole.

Here are some tips that, when I practice, make me a better listener.
• Listen as if the other person is truly wise.
• Listen with an openness to be influenced by another’s perspective.
• Listen in a way that supports the other to fully expressing themselves.
• Listen for deeper questions, patterns, and insights.

photo credit: B Rosen

RESPECT: Find out what it means to us!

I believe that we are all called to speak about or focus on topics that “call us”. The topic and practice of respect has been calling me for a couple of years now. I’m proud that my partner and I have answered the call. Interestingly, as the journey continues, so does my fascination with it.

My thoughts today are on the well know lyrics of a popular song by Aretha Franklin.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Find out what it means to me

I find myself singing those lyrics with great passion, hoping that the people in my life ask me the question that I long to answer for them. What does it mean to me?
In the quiet of my space, I wonder if they are longing to have me ask them the question.
What does respect mean to you?
Let us know what respect means to you.

Aretha_Franklin_-_Respect

Welcome!

Welcome to the world of respect! My name is Lynae, my name’s Georgine and we’re Madd-Steiny. Check out our youtube video about respect. It is an inspirational video designed to engage employees to act in ways that enhance your workplace culture. In just 3 minutes you can make a difference in your workplace, school, or community. This blog was started to create awareness and bring respect to all. Do you know the definition of respect? Here is what the dictionary says:

Respect is an esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability.

That’s the formal definition but we want to know what YOU think respect is.

Respect is…