Getting What You Want

Over the weekend of July 15th, Georgine and I attended the International eWomenNetwork Conference in Dallas.  Among several great speakers was the incomparable and much beloved Zig Ziglar.  In spite of being 85 and having suffered some minor short term memory loss as a result of a fall in his home more than 3 years ago, he is still traveling the world spreading his message of inspiration and motivation.  With the help of his daughter (who interviews him and helps him remember things), he shared stories about his childhood, his long-term marriage, and the importance of family – something he refers to as the “home court advantage.”  His talk was heartwarming and poignant.

Of all the things he said, one thing had the greatest impact on me.  He said, “You can have anything you want if you help others get what they want.”  This idea is central to respect because it’s about doing for others, honoring the needs of others, and recognizing that there may be others who require support more immediately than you do.  Now, I admit . . . this can be hard at times.  I speak from experience when I say that sometimes when I’m in need, I’m convinced that it is indeed the most important thing happening.  It takes self-awareness and humility to recognize and internalize that the world doesn’t revolve solely around me (or you).

When Madd-Steiny works with clients to manage change, we encourage small acts of getting what you want through helping others get what they want.  This is especially important during times of change because just about everyone is dealing with some sense of loss or struggling through transition.  Everyone needs something.  So, by helping others, there is an energy shift that takes place and the result is more space for solutions.  Sometimes, by focusing on the needs of others, we learn that our needs are not as significant as we initially thought – we might even let go of something because it’s clear that it doesn’t matter as much as someone else’s need.  Here are some things you can do to get more of what you want, during times of change or any time:

·    Every day, ask at least one person: “How can I support you today?”
·    Offer to take something off a co-worker’s plate.
·    Take on some extra assignments to reduce someone else’s workload.
·    Listen with compassion (and without talking) when a colleague needs to “let off some steam.”
·    Recognize the successes of your teammates loudly and proudly.

When I’ve taken the time to extend a hand to help others, it has always helped me get what I want.  I hope the same is true for you.

Lynae

What Drives Performance?

I’m reading Daniel Pink’s newest book Drive.  The premise of his book is that the traditional “carrot and stick” approach to motivation doesn’t work over the long term.  He presents some compelling evidence to make the point and argues that it’s time for organizations to upgrade their motivation systems.  Specifically, he says that motivation systems need to move away from a focus on the extrinsic (rewards) to fueling people’s intrinsic desires – the inherent satisfaction with a particular activity.  I am intrigued by this idea because it speaks to the notion of employee engagement which is a topic that we at Madd-Steiny Productions are wild about.

When an employee is engaged, their “whole person” is involved in something – body, mind, heart and spirit.  Pink’s argument suggests that the traditional motivation systems speak only to extrinsic values which often only connect to actions and outcomes.  In other words, extrinsic motivation generally only appeals to what a person does with his body and mind.  For example: “Produce 100 widgets, and you get 100 dollars.”  Or, “Come up with 10 good ideas and you’ll get a day off.”  Now, for some folks, this is enough.  In other words, their main motivator is external rewards and any deeper satisfaction is secondary.  But for others, the main motivator is something that speaks to values of freedom, challenge, purpose and meaning.  This is what Pink suggests is missing from the traditional motivation systems.

In the book, Pink states: “Control leads to compliance; autonomy leads to engagement.”  To intrinsically motivate people, you have to create space for three elements of motivation to take root: autonomy, mastery and purpose.  Let’s start with autonomy.  Pink is convinced that people are naturally curious and self-directed.  So, when given autonomy people produce greater results.  (There’s loads of science to prove this, and Pink includes a lot of it in the book.)  Then, there’s mastery – the desire to get better and better at something that matters to us.  Unlike autonomy that happens in the moment, mastery takes place over time.  So, it’s an organizational responsibility to provide the tools for people to create satisfaction by becoming really good at something.  Finally, there is purpose.  Purpose provides context and people who are primarily intrinsically motivated want to know that there is a purpose greater than themselves of which they can be a part.

There is a lot in the book and this is only the tip of the iceberg.  But, I am really excited about what I’m discovering and wanted to share some of my learning.  And, some of my early thoughts about motivation systems are as follows:

• One size does not fit all. There are different types of people with different motivations – both extrinsic and intrinsic.
• Motivation systems don’t actually have to be “systems”. Rather, they can simply by inherent elements of organizational culture that create space for people to be autonomous, develop mastery of skills, and hitch themselves to a purpose that gives meaning to their daily activities.
• It is possible to do something new and achieve even greater results. We have to let go of old ideas that are producing average results and be willing to explore alternatives to help us achieve extraordinary results.

There’s much more on this topic that I will write about in future blog posts.  Let us know if you have thoughts about motivation that you’d like to share.  And, I encourage you to pick up Dan’s book.

Lynae

Work-Life Balance

I’ve talked with three people already this week who brought up their desire to figure out a better work-life balance. With the current shifts in the economy and marketplace, I encounter many people with desires for a better balance in their lives that seem to stem from too much work to not enough work.

Work-life balance is different for each of us because we all have different priorities and different lives.  For me, work-life balance is the ability to split my time and energy between work and the other important aspects of my life – like time for family, friends, community participation, spirituality, personal growth, self care, and my hobbies – in a way that creates a feeling of satisfaction. This can be challenging as the projects in my work and personal life ebb and flow.  Certain times bring situations that require extra time and attention.

There are two sides of the work-life balance coin.

On one side is the personal choices and decision that individuals make.  Here is a simple process that will help you guide your choices and decisions.

1. If your life could focus on one thing and one thing only, what would that be? If you could add a 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th thing, what would they be? If you answer thoughtfully and honestly, the result will be a list of your top five priorities.
2. Drop unnecessary activities. After making your priority list, you may discover you’re devoting too much time to activities that aren’t a priority, and you can adjust your schedule accordingly.
3. Protect your private time. Your private time deserves some respect. Carve out hours that contribute to yourself and your relationship. Stop checking email and cell phones so often and use time to nurture relationships and renew yourself.

On the other side of the coin is a corporate culture that institutes policies, procedures, actions, and expectations that enable employees to easily pursue more balanced lives.  Here are some organizational practices that we have found instrumental to organizational cultures that support work-life balance.

1. A flexible policy on work arrangements. Organizations that offer work schedule options that give employees the flexibility to accommodate their personal and family needs, whether it’s child care, unexpected family emergencies, doctor appointments, personal time for school events, increase their ability to attract, retain and motivate a high performing work team.
2. Employee Assistance Program. EAPs promote wellness and offer employees confidential, short term, counseling services for personal problems that affect their work performance.
3. Management commitment and communication. Mangers who are sensitive to their employees’ personal needs promote a joint responsibility to communicate with one another on work-life balance issues in an open and trusting environment. This concept of shared responsibility becomes a win-win by valuing both business success and personal fulfillment.

With Respect,
Georgine

Reflections on Trust

This week I’ve been thinking about trust; the influence it has on relationships, the impact it has on our work, and the process that creates it.  I have seen evidence in many organizational cultures that trust can easily erode during challenging or changing times.

As I reflect back on the employee groups that we have worked with to build a respectful workplace, the common experience I’ve had with all groups is that everyone recognizes the power of trust and wants to build trusting relationships with more people at work.

Our experience with employees is that it’s pretty easy to identify what a trusting relationship looks like.  All we have to do is think about one that we have in our lives.  The characteristics that are identified are always the same.

• You feel you can depend on them no matter what the situation – they “have your back”
• You can talk about anything and information flows freely – even constructive feedback because you believe they care and have the best intentions
• Listening to each other is a common practice
• Confidentiality is honored
• You are able to work out disagreements – these relationships endure conflict and differences are honored
• Trust gets built over time. It’s a process.

The real challenge for most of us is how to regain trust that has been lost or diminished and act on it.

Here is some great advice that one employee group offered as they worked to answer the question: What can I do to help regain or rebuild trust in a relationship where it’s been lost or diminished?

• Approach the other person and request a time to talk
• State your intentions – i.e. you want a stronger, healthier relationship
• Stay mindful of your own behavior and manage your emotions, staying true to your intent
• Be honest, share your perceptions (using “I” statements) and request what you want/need
• Ask the other person for their perspective and what they would request
• Restate what you heard and commit to what you can and will do to build a more trusting relationship
• Forgive the past, start fresh in the present and create a better future relationship
• Persevere – trust is a process that develops over time

Best wishes,

Georgine

Lessons from the WIZ

I have been traveling a lot lately and miss being home. As much as I love the work that I do, I find that business travel can be quite exhausting sometimes – probably because I don’t have my own bed to sleep in or my favorite chair to relax into at the end of the day.

I found my mind replaying the same message today. over and over again; “there’s no place like home…there’s no place like home…there’s no place like home…”

Remember that movie? Watching the Wizard of Oz was a tradition in my household as I was growing up.

That classic movie had such an impact on me.

• I grew up on a farm in a small town and it caused me to dream about adventures in faraway places.
• The desires of the characters to obtain a “heart”, “courage” and a “brain” are exactly the qualities that I most admire in others and when I’m most honoring of myself, they are the qualities that I admire in myself.
• The fear the the Wicked Witch was bigger than it needed to be – she was melted away with water! Sometimes I let my “fears” get the best of me and make them bigger than they need to be.

The most meaning message in the movie for me was the camaraderie and friendship of diverse individuals who came together on their journey to support each other to be the best they could be. And…the journey was not without conflict.

The lessons that I think individuals and teams can take from the story of the Wizard of Oz are:

1. Everyone has their strengths and the team is stronger because of it.
2. Face your fears and you’ll probably find that they are not as big as you are imagining them to be.
3. Pursue your goals and don’t give up and you’ll find what you are looking for – sometimes in ways that you hadn’t imagined.

Respectfully yours,

Georgine

Respect and Extraordinary Groups

I attended a networking event where the speaker talked about his research on what makes groups and teams “extraordinary.” The information he shared was practical and helpful. And although he didn’t specifically say that respect matters in building extraordinary teams, he talked about what I consider to be respectful actions, such as accepting differences and listening to the contributions of others. His talk got me thinking about how respect can influence whether or not a group is extraordinary-meaning that the group gets great results, shares a sense of purpose, and is engaged. What would a group be without respect?

How can you instill respect into a group quickly and witness some pretty “extraordinary” results?
Here are some tips:

• Define shared values. Values serve as powerful guideposts to actions and attitudes. Get your team together and select 5 core values that guide everything you do.
• Establish behavior norms. Involve everyone in the group to agree on the standards of behavior that will guide everyone’s interactions. Examples include: come to meetings prepared; turn off cell phones during meetings; and question someone’s ideas, not their values.
• Explore and honor different perspectives. Next time your group is given a project or is expected to meet a specific goal, bring the group together and invite different ideas about how to go about it. Brainstorm freely and encourage the group to think creatively. See if you can come up with an entirely new approach to an ‘old’ situation.

Give it a try, and let us know what happens.

Respectfully,

Lynae

Everyone has a story.

Last night I went out for dinner with some very dear friends. You know; the type of friends that you’ve shared life experiences with for over 30 years! The kind of friends that you may only see a few times a year as a whole group, but you don’t skip a beat when you do get together.

Early in the evening, I found myself jumping from one conversation to the other and getting fragmented stories of joys and challenges over the last year. Then, one woman suggested we take turns telling our stories. What a great idea!

The opportunity to focus and really listen to the stories of each of these dear friends was very satisfying. Not only was it incredibly fulfilling to have someone really listen to me and my story, it was deeply meaningful to listen to the uniqueness of each of our life journeys and realize that we have more in common then we have different.

The memories of the evening have me thinking about what it means to honor diversity. Today my thoughts are that at the heart of honoring diversity is the realization that we are more alike than different and that even though our culture, life experiences, family of origin, belief systems and choices may be broad and varied, we all are on the same journey – to learn about how we can be the best person we can be – be someone we can honor through all of life’s joys and challenges.

Here are some good questions that you can use to encourage others to share their story with you.

• Tell me more about that…
• What are you experiencing with that – joy and/or challenge?
• Are you ok?
• How can I best support you?

~Georgine