Respecting the Whole Person

When you see yourself in your mind’s eye, you probably see more than your outward appearance.  I know I do.  I see me as a whole person and think about myself in terms of my thoughts, my heart, and my spirit.  I seek what gives me joy and makes me think critically and challenges beliefs that don’t necessarily serve me.  And, I love it when others notice more of me than just what is on the outside.  My guess is that you do too.  And, that got me thinking about what I can do more of to notice the “wholeness” of the people around me.  Here are some things I’m committed to do more of.  How about you?

·    Listen for the meaning behind what someone says through their tone of voice and choice of words.
·    Probe for deeper understanding to ensure I hear what’s important to someone else.
·    Pay attention to what makes someone “light up” when they talk.  This can be a sure sign of a passion.
·    Notice someone’s interests and choice of leisure activities to gain insight to what they appreciate.

It’s not important that other people notice that I’m doing these things.  What’s important is how my interactions with them are influenced as a result of me paying closer attention to their wholeness.  At the very least, I can be as gentle and accepting with them as I’d appreciate others to be with me.  Because, we’re all more than just the roles we play.  We are whole beings and are wholly deserving of respect.

Warmly,

Lynae

Key Words of Respect

Lynae and I have been working with individuals, teams and organizations for a long time and one of the very practical tools that we offer in our work with teams is to think about “key words” that individuals can use during “key times” to articulate intention and influence outcomes in any given situation.

I was recently with a group in Florida that found this concept and the practical application of it to be very valuable.  It was fun to see the shift of energy in people as they realized the power of influence that they have in challenging customer service situations simply by the way they responded.

I love seeing the confidence that is created when individuals recognize their own personal power of influence in any given situation when the answer and action is really quite simple – speak from a place of respect and intention about what matters most.

As humans, we naturally react from our ego.  So, when a customer expresses a frustration, dissatisfaction or negative emotion it would be natural to “react” in a defensive way and feel frustration ourselves.

Identifying “key words” gives us the power to “respond” in challenging situations vs. react.  Using “key words” keeps us centered on what matters most and opens doors to service, collaboration, and connection.

Here is an exercise that you can apply individually or with your team to identify “key words” during the typical or tough situation that you find yourself responsible to respond to.

1.    Identify:  Write examples of the comments, questions or complaints that you typically hear from your customers or that are challenging to respond to.

2.    Interpret:  What could the customer be thinking, feeling, wanting?  What is their perspective?  Now, think about what you want the outcome to be in this situation.  What is your perspective? What matters most to you in terms of the outcome?

3.    Respond:  Identify “key word” that you could use from how you answered the “interpret” questions.  Write down the words that you could say to explain or respond to the customer.  What questions could you ask to gain a better understanding?  How could you best educate the customer?  How can you best articulate your intent?  What key actions and behaviors are important to demonstrate as you say these words to ensure that you meet your desired outcome?

Respectfully yours,
Georgine

Honoring Diversity – What Makes You Unique?

One of the reasons I love what I do is because of the fascinating people I have the opportunity to meet every day.  The highly social aspect of my personality is always curious about others; their “stories” and deepening relationships by just getting to know them.

One of the exercises that Madd-Steiny often facilitates in our learning modules around the topic of honoring diversity has participants answer the simple question: ‘What makes you unique?’

We hear that life experiences in diverse cultures and communities, family systems, education, life events, and work experiences create each of our unique stories.  Invariably, this discussion always creates a curiosity to hear more about the unique and individual stories.

We believe that in order to embrace a culture of respect and inclusion every individual needs to be honored for their uniqueness.  This can be advanced in any organization when individuals and groups take time to create a forum where dialogue and listening can take place.

One of my all time favorite authors, Margaret Wheatley, said it best in her book Turning to One Another: Simple Conversations to Restore Hope to the Future.

“Great healing is available to us when we listen to each other.  No matter what we have experienced in life, if we can tell our story to someone who listens, we find it easier to deal with our circumstances.  Listening is such a simple act.  It requires us to be present (and that takes practice!) and willing to just sit there and listen with the intent to understand.  Why is being heard so healing?  It has something to do with the fact that listening creates a relationship.

We know from science that nothing in the universe exists in isolation.  Everything takes form from relationships.  Our natural state is to be together.  Though we keep moving away from each other, we never lose the need to be in relationship.  Not listening creates fragmentation.  Listening moves us closer to becoming more whole.”

Here are some questions that you might consider asking others to learn about what makes them unique:

·    What is your favorite thing about this time of year?
·    What traditions do you practice in your family that has a legacy?
·    What was an experience in your life that was a “defining moment” for you and shaped who you are today?

Enjoy and honor the stories you’ll hear!

Sincerely, Georgine

Is Your Company Customer Centric?

One of our favorite clients is a hospital with whom we’ve been working for more than three years.  We feel privileged that they have implemented a customized version of our respectFULL teams™ program.  Recently, they spoke to us about developing a learning plan for an initiative they’ve undertaken to build a “patient family centered” culture.  Patient family centered care is the practice of building and sustaining mutually-beneficial partnerships among patients, their families, and health care providers.  At its core, patient family centered care requires that patients and their families are treated with dignity and respect.  (We love that part!)  One aspect of this best practice requires the interpersonal competence to be able to connect and communicate with people in a way that is meaningful for them and meets their individual needs.  In many cases, this is a paradigm shift for hospital personnel because patients and families must be viewed as equal and important members of the health care team.  For health care, this is a revolution.  And, it can be a revolution for all other industries as well.

What do you think it would be like if all organizations treated their customers – all the time – with dignity and respect?  There are some core principles of patient family centered care that translate well to any industry and all customers.  Here are some of the guidelines for making an organization more customer-centered.  What improvement ideas and/or challenges come to mind for you as you read them?

·    Service is customized according to the customer’s needs and values.
·    The customer is the source of control.
·    Knowledge is shared and information flows freely.
·    Decision making is evidence-based.
·    Transparency is necessary.
·    Needs are anticipated.
·    Waste is continuously decreased.
·    Cooperation among service providers is a priority.

Lynae

Make Respect a Habit

“Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words.

Keep your words positive because your words become your behaviors.

Keep your behaviors positive because your behaviors become your habits.

Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values.

Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny.”  -Gandhi

I have always loved this quote from Gandhi and ran across it just the other day. It doesn’t matter how many times I’ve seen it over the years, it still causes me to pause and affirm to live each day at my best.

The part of this quote that I am most focused on today is the part about habits. In our work with leadership development we know that people are creatures of habit.  Habits serve us well because once we have a habit engrained we become very efficient. We don’t have to exert much intellectual energy to accomplish tasks. Did you know that brain researchers estimate that out of every 11,000 signals we receive from our senses, our brain consciously processes only 40? This shows how often we operate on “auto pilot” as we go about our work and personal lives.

Habits, our automatic responses, can be bad or good. One bad habit I have worked on is interrupting people before they have finished talking. This behavior is not respectful. Even though I have never interrupted someone with the conscious intension to be disrespectful, this behavior doesn’t match my values and so I risk being perceived as not honoring what others have to say. I am committed to practicing good habits in listening because they align with my values and create the perceptions that I want others to have of me.

Og Mandino, author of The Greatest Salesman in the World, gives the advice to “make yourself a slave to good habits”.  Here are three simple tips to develop a good habit.

1.    Start simple.
Choose one behavior that you want to make habitual. Write it down on a piece of paper as an affirmation and post it somewhere that you will see each day. Visualize yourself behaving that way in a number of different situations.

2.    Commit for 21 days.
Three to four weeks is all the time you need to make a habit automatic. If you can make it through the initial conditioning phase, it becomes much easier to sustain. Consistency is also important during this conditioning phase so commit to doing your new behavior every day for 21 days.

3.    Celebrate outcomes.
Notice what the results are when you practice your behavior. If your behavior is a personal health related one, notice how you feel.  Good habits in self care result in higher levels of self respect. If your behavior is interpersonal, notice the results your behavior has on others.  Consider sharing your commitment with a friend or co-worker and ask him/her to give you feedback as he/she observes your behavior.

Warm Regards,
Georgine

Getting What You Want

Over the weekend of July 15th, Georgine and I attended the International eWomenNetwork Conference in Dallas.  Among several great speakers was the incomparable and much beloved Zig Ziglar.  In spite of being 85 and having suffered some minor short term memory loss as a result of a fall in his home more than 3 years ago, he is still traveling the world spreading his message of inspiration and motivation.  With the help of his daughter (who interviews him and helps him remember things), he shared stories about his childhood, his long-term marriage, and the importance of family – something he refers to as the “home court advantage.”  His talk was heartwarming and poignant.

Of all the things he said, one thing had the greatest impact on me.  He said, “You can have anything you want if you help others get what they want.”  This idea is central to respect because it’s about doing for others, honoring the needs of others, and recognizing that there may be others who require support more immediately than you do.  Now, I admit . . . this can be hard at times.  I speak from experience when I say that sometimes when I’m in need, I’m convinced that it is indeed the most important thing happening.  It takes self-awareness and humility to recognize and internalize that the world doesn’t revolve solely around me (or you).

When Madd-Steiny works with clients to manage change, we encourage small acts of getting what you want through helping others get what they want.  This is especially important during times of change because just about everyone is dealing with some sense of loss or struggling through transition.  Everyone needs something.  So, by helping others, there is an energy shift that takes place and the result is more space for solutions.  Sometimes, by focusing on the needs of others, we learn that our needs are not as significant as we initially thought – we might even let go of something because it’s clear that it doesn’t matter as much as someone else’s need.  Here are some things you can do to get more of what you want, during times of change or any time:

·    Every day, ask at least one person: “How can I support you today?”
·    Offer to take something off a co-worker’s plate.
·    Take on some extra assignments to reduce someone else’s workload.
·    Listen with compassion (and without talking) when a colleague needs to “let off some steam.”
·    Recognize the successes of your teammates loudly and proudly.

When I’ve taken the time to extend a hand to help others, it has always helped me get what I want.  I hope the same is true for you.

Lynae

Respect and Teamwork

Recently, I facilitated a teambuilding session with a marketing team from a leading company in the pet products industry.  The day was exhilarating and rewarding.  I’m continually inspired by teams who are committed to creating deeper connections with each other and improve their overall performance.  One of the things we did together was select a set of values for the team that will guide their actions and attitudes going forward, and help them to achieve their organizational vision.  One of the values they selected, and a theme that surfaced over and over again throughout the day, was respect.

Respect for this team is paramount to their long term success.  And, for any team, respect serves as a foundation for more effective collaboration, innovation and problem solving.  Why?  Because when there is respect on a team, there is room for different perspectives and new ideas.  Respect creates space for passionate dialog around varied philosophies and a diversity of opinion that can lead to rich and complex solutions to everyday problems. When I asked the team to define what respect would look like on their team, they answered simply:

·    Listening to each other without judgment.
·    Making sure everyone has a voice.
·    Thanking each other for a job well done.
·    Sharing resources.
·    Treating everyone as equals.

Take some time this week and talk with your teammates about respect on your team.  It’s simple, and can make a huge difference.

Respectfully,

Lynae

Work-Life Balance

I’ve talked with three people already this week who brought up their desire to figure out a better work-life balance. With the current shifts in the economy and marketplace, I encounter many people with desires for a better balance in their lives that seem to stem from too much work to not enough work.

Work-life balance is different for each of us because we all have different priorities and different lives.  For me, work-life balance is the ability to split my time and energy between work and the other important aspects of my life – like time for family, friends, community participation, spirituality, personal growth, self care, and my hobbies – in a way that creates a feeling of satisfaction. This can be challenging as the projects in my work and personal life ebb and flow.  Certain times bring situations that require extra time and attention.

There are two sides of the work-life balance coin.

On one side is the personal choices and decision that individuals make.  Here is a simple process that will help you guide your choices and decisions.

1. If your life could focus on one thing and one thing only, what would that be? If you could add a 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th thing, what would they be? If you answer thoughtfully and honestly, the result will be a list of your top five priorities.
2. Drop unnecessary activities. After making your priority list, you may discover you’re devoting too much time to activities that aren’t a priority, and you can adjust your schedule accordingly.
3. Protect your private time. Your private time deserves some respect. Carve out hours that contribute to yourself and your relationship. Stop checking email and cell phones so often and use time to nurture relationships and renew yourself.

On the other side of the coin is a corporate culture that institutes policies, procedures, actions, and expectations that enable employees to easily pursue more balanced lives.  Here are some organizational practices that we have found instrumental to organizational cultures that support work-life balance.

1. A flexible policy on work arrangements. Organizations that offer work schedule options that give employees the flexibility to accommodate their personal and family needs, whether it’s child care, unexpected family emergencies, doctor appointments, personal time for school events, increase their ability to attract, retain and motivate a high performing work team.
2. Employee Assistance Program. EAPs promote wellness and offer employees confidential, short term, counseling services for personal problems that affect their work performance.
3. Management commitment and communication. Mangers who are sensitive to their employees’ personal needs promote a joint responsibility to communicate with one another on work-life balance issues in an open and trusting environment. This concept of shared responsibility becomes a win-win by valuing both business success and personal fulfillment.

With Respect,
Georgine

Reflections on Trust

This week I’ve been thinking about trust; the influence it has on relationships, the impact it has on our work, and the process that creates it.  I have seen evidence in many organizational cultures that trust can easily erode during challenging or changing times.

As I reflect back on the employee groups that we have worked with to build a respectful workplace, the common experience I’ve had with all groups is that everyone recognizes the power of trust and wants to build trusting relationships with more people at work.

Our experience with employees is that it’s pretty easy to identify what a trusting relationship looks like.  All we have to do is think about one that we have in our lives.  The characteristics that are identified are always the same.

• You feel you can depend on them no matter what the situation – they “have your back”
• You can talk about anything and information flows freely – even constructive feedback because you believe they care and have the best intentions
• Listening to each other is a common practice
• Confidentiality is honored
• You are able to work out disagreements – these relationships endure conflict and differences are honored
• Trust gets built over time. It’s a process.

The real challenge for most of us is how to regain trust that has been lost or diminished and act on it.

Here is some great advice that one employee group offered as they worked to answer the question: What can I do to help regain or rebuild trust in a relationship where it’s been lost or diminished?

• Approach the other person and request a time to talk
• State your intentions – i.e. you want a stronger, healthier relationship
• Stay mindful of your own behavior and manage your emotions, staying true to your intent
• Be honest, share your perceptions (using “I” statements) and request what you want/need
• Ask the other person for their perspective and what they would request
• Restate what you heard and commit to what you can and will do to build a more trusting relationship
• Forgive the past, start fresh in the present and create a better future relationship
• Persevere – trust is a process that develops over time

Best wishes,

Georgine

Respect for your Environment

Recently I took a short road trip out of the city to my home town to visit my parents.  The day was incredible with lots of sunshine after a soaking rain.  The landscape was lush and I found myself taking in the beauty of the earth.  Gratitude filled my heart and my mind and left me with a feeling of great contentment.

At one point during my drive I came across a group of Boy Scouts who were walking the ditches and picking up trash that had been thrown out of cars. I felt a great deal of pride in those boys and respect for what they were doing.  Having been a leader in our local Scouts organization when my boys were younger, I know that this activity was a demonstration of a core value in the scouting organization – good citizenship.

Our organizational development work at Madd-Steiny helps companies find ways to bring their core values to life in their work cultures.  And, I think that just about every organization we have met has respect listed as one of their core values.

The value of respect, demonstrated, goes beyond an individual’s behavior during interpersonal interactions.  It also extends into caring for the work environment.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard about conflict in work groups due to food left in the refrigerator, or dishes left in the sink or a mess left in the conference room after a meeting.

Establishing norms or expectations for behavior in your organization is one powerful way to bring your values to life and nurture a respectful work culture.

Here are a few behavioral expectations that we have seen practiced in organizations that demonstrate a respect for the work environment.

1.    Always leave your meeting space looking better than you found it.
2.    When you see litter in and/or around the building pick it up.
3.    Keep your workspace organized and free from clutter.
4.    Be accountable to pick up after yourself in shared space.

With Respect,

Georgine