Press your “Pause Button” in a Trigger Situation

My blog for this week is inspired by a “quote of the week” that I received in my mailbox.  The quote is by Doug King and reads, “Learn to pause…or nothing worthwhile will catch up to you”.

Effective leaders are often recognized as having good people skills. But the person they are most skilled at handling is themselves. They start from the inside and work out.

Emotional Intelligence is an inside-out job. It starts with oneself. The more skilled a leader is at emotional self-awareness and emotional self-regulation, the more effective they are in leadership.

Research in the area of emotional intelligence has shown that when people are aware of their emotions and reactions, they are better able to self-regulate and choose how they want to respond.

Emotional self-regulation is the ability to step back in an emotionally charged situation and “hit the pause button” before responding. When you do this, you can make better decisions about what to say or do (or not say or do) in that situation.

When situations trigger a negative response, we are more likely to act in ways that are defensive, disrespectful and unproductive.  When leaders form a habit of “hitting the pause button” they are better able to recognize how to respond in ways that would be helpful to change, effective communication and resolution.

Here is a simple exercise to help you experience the benefit of “hitting the pause button”.

1.       Describe a situation that typically triggers a negative reaction for you.

2.       “Hit the pause button” – step back and ask yourself:

• What is my self-talk around the situation that is making me feel negative?  And, how can I coach myself to stay calm and focused?
• What do I want the outcome of this situation to be? And, how can I respond to best lead toward this outcome?

3.       Choose the response that is most respectful and productive.

Warm Regards, Georgine

Culture Soup

A client recently shared a book with me called Soup: A Recipe to Nourish your Team and Culture by Jon Gordon.

I found this book, written as a fun business fable, to be quite delightful.  Gordon’s analogy around “soup” is based upon “who is stirring the pot” or leading the organization and what ingredients are going into the pot or organizational culture.

Gordon explains that in the past, managers were focused on the numbers, and the numbers were good. So morale was up and everyone was happy. But then the recession hit and the numbers went down. Well, when you’re focused on numbers and they’re going down, morale also goes down. So does engagement, and so does performance.

Gordon encourages leaders to take a new focus – culture.  A focus on culture is centered on purpose, value-based behaviors, morale and engaged relationships.  Leaders that use these ingredients build winning teams and nourishing cultures.

Engaged relationships are interactive, collaborative, and meaningful.  They are also essential to outcomes in any organization.

Here are some of Gordon’s insights that I thought were spot on!

• When you are driving through life at 100 miles per hour you can become so focused on creating success that you don’t make the time to develop the relationships that lead to your success. What our employees need the most, we’re delivering the least.

• Where there’s a void in communication, negativity fills it. The number one thing a manager can do during times of uncertainty is to communicate. Tell the truth, give them a plan, and help them believe. Optimism is a competitive advantage right now, and you need to convey it in all you say and do.

• The main question every employee in every organization wants to know is, “Do you care about me; can I trust you?” Employees who feel cared for, honored and nourished are more engaged in what they’re doing and will work at their highest potential.

With Respect,
Georgine